请采纳我的问题1、一个女生前一天晚上得到男朋友的订婚戒指，但竟没有一个同学注意到，令她忿忿不平。
到下午大家坐着谈天的时候，她突然站起来大声说：“哎呀，这里真热呀，我看我还是把戒指脱下来吧。
”2、女主人把女佣叫到面前问她：“你是否怀孕了
”“是啊
”女佣回道。
“亏你还说得出口，你还没有结婚，难道不觉得害羞吗
”女主人再次训。
“我为什么要害羞，女主人你自己不也怀孕了吗
”“可是我怀的是我丈夫的
”女主人生气地反驳。
“我也是啊
”女佣高兴地附和。
3、一个人骑摩托车喜欢反穿衣服，就是把口子在后面扣上，可以挡风。
一天他酒后驾驶， 翻了，一头栽在路旁。
警察赶到：警察甲：好严重的车祸。
警察乙：是啊，脑袋都撞到后面去了。
警察甲：嗯，还有呼吸，我们帮他把头转回来吧。
警察乙：好.....一、二使劲，转回来了。
警察甲：嗯，没有呼吸了.......4、在一条七拐八拐的乡村公路上，因为时常发生车祸，所以常常有一些鬼故事发生，有一天晚上，有一个出租车司机看见路边有一个长发披肩，身着白衣的女人向他招手，因为这个司机没有见过鬼，所以大胆的停下来让她上车了，这一路上,司机虽然不信有鬼，心里也毛毛的，所以时常从后视镜看后面的女人，开着开着，突然司机发现那个女人不见了
司机吓了一大跳，赶紧踩了一个刹车
只见那个女人满脸是血，表情狰狞。
司机吓的牙直打颤。
突然那女人开口了：“你会不会开车啊
我低头系个鞋带你突然一刹车我把鼻子都撞破了……”5、一个(bìng)人去看(bìng)，医生检查了他，皱着眉头说：“您(bìng)得太严重了，恐怕不会活多久了。
” (bìng)人：“求您告诉我我还能活多久
” 医生：“十……” (bìng)人着急地问：“十什么
十年
十个月十天
” 医生：“十，九，八，七，六，五……”6、老师：“你能说一些18世纪科学家共同特点吗
”学生：“能，他们都死了。
”7、犀粪蜣和蚊子谈恋爱，蜣问蚊子是做什么工作的，蚊子说：“护士，打针的。
”蜣一拍大腿：“缘分呐，我是中(yào)局搓(yào)丸的…”8、一非洲人住在某一宾馆。
夜半，起火，不明原因。
非洲人见状顾不了那么许多，光着身子就跑出去了。
消防员见状惊呼：“我的妈呀
都烧的糊了吧区的了还能跑那么快
”9、一个人想出国考察，但必须得到老总批准。
于是他向老总请示，老总给了他一张字条，上面写着：“Go ahead”。
那人想：“Go ahead=前进，老总是批准了。
”于是他开始打点行李。
一个同事见到了他问：“你在做什啊
”他说：“我准备出国考察，老总批准了，给我写了‘Go ahead’。
” 同事一见条就乐了：“咱们老总根本就没批准
咱老总的英语水平你还不知道，他这是在说去个头
”10、牧师对买了他马和马车的农夫说：“这匹马只能听懂教会的语言，叫感谢上帝它就跑;叫赞美上帝它才停下。
”农夫将信将疑，他试着喊了一声感谢上帝，那匹马立刻飞奔起来，越跑越快。
一只跑到悬崖边上惊恐的农夫才想起让它停下来的口令“赞美上帝”。
果然，马停下来了。
死里逃生的农夫长出一口气：“感谢上帝………”我打了很久，请采纳1 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \\\\oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring.\\\\ 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \\\\are you pregnant?\\\\ \\\\Yes!\\\\ The maid answered. Export \\\\kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\\\\ The hostess training again. \\\\Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\\\\ \\\\But I conceive is my husband!\\\\ The hostess retorted angrily. \\\\Me too!\\\\ The maid happy to echo. 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good... One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing... 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: \\\\would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nose...\\\\ 5, a patient to see a doctor, the doctor examined him, frowning said: \\\\you too serious ill, I'm afraid I won't live much longer.\\\\ Patient: \\\\please tell me how long will I live?\\\\ Doctor: \\\\ten...\\\\ Patient anxiously asked: \\\\what? Ten years?? Ten months??? Ten days?????\\\\ Doctor: \\\\ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...\\\\ 6, teacher: \\\\can you say some 18 th-century scientists common characteristics?\\\\ Student: \\\\yes, they are all dead.\\\\ 7, rhino poop Qiang and mosquito fall in love, Qiang asked a mosquito is to do what work, the mosquito said: \\\ urse, give or take an injection.\\\\ Qiang a clap a thigh: \\\\the fate, I am a traditional Chinese medicine bureau rub pills...\\\\ 8, the africans live in a hotel. In the midnight, a fire, unknown reason. Before rushing so many africans, naked and ran out. Firefighters said exclaimed: \\\\my mama ah! All paste the burned area can run so fast!\\\\ 9, a person wants to go abroad, but it must be approved by boss. So he to the manager for instructions, the boss gave him a note, it read: \\\\Go ahead\\\\. The man thought, \\\\Go ahead = progress, boss is approved.\\\\ So he started to packing. A colleague to see he asked: \\\\what are you doing?\\\\ He said: \\\\I'm ready to Go abroad investigation, boss approved, wrote me 'Go ahead'.\\\\ Colleague of joy at the sight of article: \\\\let's boss haven't approved!!!!! Our boss English don't you know, he is said to head!\\\\ 10, priests to buy his horse and carriage of the farmer said, \\\\this horse can only understand the language of the church, call\\\\ thank god \\\\it ran; called\\\\ praise god \\\\it didn't stop.\\\\ Farmer track, he tried to thank god gave a cry, the horse gallop, immediately ran faster and faster. A run to the edge of the cliff frightened farmer remembered that let it stop password \\\\praise god\\\\. Sure enough, the horse stopped. Close the farmer grows a sigh: \\\\thank god.........\\\\I played for a long time, please
亲爱的妈妈： 感谢妈妈生我、养我、教导我、让我在学校的知识里遨游。
感谢妈妈生出了我。
如果这个世界上没有您，那么我也看不见这美丽而又丰富多彩的世界。
我知道您生我的时候是多么难受，我也知道您很善良，不想让这么一个小生命就这样坠落了，但是自己必须付出巨大的努力才行。
感谢妈妈养育了我。
多少年来，您每天早上起来，就开始为我做饭，不管春夏秋冬，不管严寒酷暑，您总是第一个起来，我不明白您为什么这样的照顾我，养育我。
直到有一天我终于明白了，原来母爱是无私的，母爱是只知道奉献而不图回报的。
感谢妈妈教导我。
妈妈，你无数次的教导我做一个心地善良，正值的人。
您在我很小的时候就开始教导我了，在看电视，听广播的
时候，您总要插上一句话，我以前觉得您老这样说很罗索，但我现在觉得难多时光才是最珍贵，最应该珍惜的。
感谢妈妈让我在学校的知识里遨游。
由于山东邹县的学校都不怎么太好，所以您才会把我送到大姑这里来上学，为的就是不让我受罪。
只要有假期，您就会不知疲倦的从家乡赶来。
虽然在俩里的很远，但是您还是每天一个电话，查问我的学习情况，好像您就在我身边一样。
快到三八妇女节了，我说的这些话都汇聚成一句话：感谢妈妈!Dear Mother : I thank my mother for me, raising me, teach me, let me in the knowledge of travel into schools. Thank goodness my mother. If this world without you, then I can not see this beautiful and colorful world. I know how you feel is the time for me, I know you are very good, do not want such a life on this small crashes, but they must be made enormous efforts it. I thank my mother brought up. For many years, every morning you up, I began to cook, no matter fallen autumn, regardless of where the summer, you are always the first up, I do not understand why you do I care, nurturing me. Until one day I finally realized that the original love is selfless, love is not only aware of dedication return. I thank my mother taught. Mom, you taught me to do a countless friendly, positive people. You Before I began to teach a course I had in television and radio time, you always have to accompany a word, I think you have a very old saying Institute, but now I feel that more time is the most precious is the most treasure. Let me thank my mother in the knowledge of travel into schools. Since schools do not do very good Shandong promised, so you will be sent to the oldest paternal aunt my schooling here, I was not suffer. Wherever holiday, you will be tireless in their home here. While each of the far, but you were still a daily telephone enquiries I learn, like you on my side. Women's Day approaching 38, I said these words into a coherent force sentence is : thank Mama! 可以吗
PS:带有感恩意义的，就给妈妈一个人。
不要《感恩的心》
美意、福宁、人丰、万寿无疆、长命百岁一、美意延年 [ mi yì yán nián ] 【解释】：美意：乐意；延年：处长寿命。
对一切乐观的人，能够健康长寿。
【出自】：战国 荀子《荀子·致士》：“得众动天，美意延年。
”【译文】：得到大家感动上天，对一切乐观的人，能够健康长寿。
二、福寿康宁 [ fú shòu kāng níng ] 【解释】：祝颂语。
谓幸福、长寿、健康、安宁诸福齐备。
【出自】：宋·陈亮《喻夏卿墓志》：“福寿康宁，子孙彬彬然，皆有可能者，天于夏卿亦何所负哉
”【译文】：幸福、长寿、健康、安宁诸福齐备子孙彬彬有礼地，都是有可能的，上天没有什么对不起你夏卿的
三、人寿年丰 [ rén shòu nián fēng ] 【解释】：人长寿，年成也好。
形容太平兴旺的景象。
【出自】：郭沫若《蔡文姬》第五幕：“好在这些年，年年都有好收成。
真真是人寿年丰，喜事重重。
”四、万寿无疆 [ wàn shòu wú jiāng ] 【解释】：疆：界限。
万年长寿，永远生存。
用于祝人长寿。
【出自】：周 孔子《诗经·小雅·天保》：“君曰卜尔，万寿无疆。
五、长命百岁 [ cháng mìng bǎi suì ] 【解释】：寿命很长，能活到一百岁。
常用作祝福长寿之词。
【出自】：元·无名氏《蓝采和》第四折：“这厮淡则淡到长命百岁。
”【译文】：这家伙一定能活到一百岁
三月八日是一个非常特殊的日子。
因为这天不但是妇女节，而且还是爸爸妈妈结婚十周年的纪念日。
三八那天下午，我放学回家放下书包，正准备做作业的时候，妈妈说：“蔡乐之，快过来吃芒果
”我看都不看就说：“不吃。
”妈妈听了没做声。
我抬头一看，发现妈妈有点不高兴。
我突然想到：老师不是说要做一件让妈妈高兴的事吗
我还是吃了吧。
我说：“妈妈，我吃。
”妈妈听了高兴地笑了。
晚上，我做完作业，和妈妈一起躺在床上看书。
妈妈忽然说：“我的腰好酸啊
”我听了马上说：“妈妈，我给你捶捶吧。
”妈妈说：“好啊。
”我开始给妈妈捶，捶了一会，妈妈笑着说：“确实舒服多了，谢谢我的好儿子。
”我听了，又在妈妈的脸上“吧嗒吧嗒”地亲了几下，妈妈更高兴了。
我想：以后的每一天不管是不是节日，我都要让妈妈开开心心，天天开心
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